By Coach Carlos | Olympic Athlete, Club Coach, Club Owner & Club Parent
Your daughter made the elite team.
You’re posting photos. Friends are commenting “Congratulations!” Other parents are asking how tryouts went.
You feel like you won.
Three months from now, you’ll realize you lost.
Not because she isn’t talented. Not because you made a bad effort.
Because you optimized for the wrong metric.
Here’s what happened:
You chose the club everyone wanted to get into.
The one with the banners. The college placements. The Instagram highlights.
You didn’t choose the club that matches how your daughter learns best.
You chose prestige over fit.
And prestige doesn’t care if your kid cries before practice.
The thing about club volleyball:
It’s designed to make you feel like you’re always one level away from making it.
“If she just makes THIS team…” “If we just go to THIS club…” “If she just gets noticed at THIS tournament…”
The system wants you chasing.
Because chasing parents pay more, complain less, and never ask: “Is this actually working for my kid?”
Two daughters. Same club. Different stories.
First daughter: Thrived. Challenged daily. Committed D1. Loved every minute.
Second daughter: Benched. Silent. Quit volleyball entirely by junior year.
Same coaches. Same facilities. Same “elite program.”
What was different?
Fit.
One needed pressure to grow. The other needed patience.
The club only offered one.
Here’s the framework nobody teaches you:
Before you choose ANY club, answer these five questions:
If you can’t answer all five, you’re gambling.
With your money. With your daughter’s development. With her love for the game.
The clubs don’t tell you this:
A 14U local team with a great coach beats an 18U elite team with a mediocre one.
Every single time.
Development isn’t about who you train with.
It’s about who’s coaching you.
What most parents do:
Follow the crowd. Choose the name everyone knows. Hope it works out.
What smart parents do:
Visit at least three clubs. Watch how coaches respond to mistakes. Talk to current parents about stress levels. Compare what they PROMISE to what they DELIVER.
Then choose based on data, not reputation.
The decision you’re making isn’t:
“Which club is best?”
It’s:
“Which club is best for MY daughter, given her current skill level, learning style, and our family’s capacity?”
Different question. Different answer.
Truth:
The prestigious club might be perfect for your daughter.
Or it might destroy her confidence while you watch, confused about why paying more isn’t working.
You won’t know until you stop choosing like everyone else and start choosing like someone who understands what actually matters.
Here’s what matters:
Does she improve? Does she still love it in March? Does your family have margin?
That’s it.
Not the banner count. Not the Instagram following. Not whether other parents are impressed.
Improvement. Joy. Sustainability.
Everything else is noise.
The scorecard:
Rate each club 1-5 on:
Add them up.
The highest score wins.
Even if your friends chose differently.
What happens when you get this right:
Your daughter develops.
She builds confidence through real coaching, not just playing time.
She loves volleyball MORE in April than she did in November.
Your family doesn’t spend six months stressed, broke, and wondering why you signed up for this.
What happens when you get this wrong:
You spend thousands.
You watch her confidence erode.
You tell yourself “it’ll get better” while knowing it won’t.
You end the season relieved it’s over instead of excited for next year.
The choice:
Keep choosing the way everyone chooses.
Or choose the way that actually works.
One leads to regret. The other leads to development.
Both cost about the same.
You decide.
Resources:
Download the Club Selection Scorecard — Free. Five factors. Thirty minutes per club.
Join the LOVA Community — Live coaching calls. Tools. Parents who get it.
One more thing:
The club your daughter’s friends chose?
It might be perfect for them and terrible for her.
Stop choosing for other people’s kids.
Choose for yours.
I’m writing a book about everything I’ve learned from Olympic volleyball, professional ball, coaching for a decade, owning a club, and raising two competitive volleyball players through this system. It covers club selection, budgeting, navigating coaches, protecting your family’s wellbeing, and the conversations nobody teaches you how to have. It’ll be ready soon. This is just the beginning.
Blessings,
Coach Carlos
